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8 myths of bankruptcy

People don't show to share their bankruptcy fears with friends and neighbours. That sense of shame, omission and isolation allows some persistent misunderstandings and falsehoods about the process to linger. In some cases, those amiss impressions can prevent people from seeking the relief that a bankruptcy filing is designed to attend to arrange for.

With that in mind, here are eight myths about bankruptcy … and some facts that just might open your eyes:

I don't fall short of to file for bankruptcy because I'll lose everything. Yes, if you have a lot of assets, chances are you will lose most of them. After all, your creditors do have a as the crow flies to get at least some of their money back. But you won't lose everything. "This fear-mongering is often disseminated by credit collections people who in need of to frighten you into paying them rather than seeking the help of a licensed trustee," says the Toronto-based bankruptcy unbending A. Farber & Partners. Some assets are protected from liquidation in the bankruptcy process. For illustration, creditors usually can't touch locked-in pensions, RRSPs or RRIFs (although RRSP contributions made during the year former to the bankruptcy filing can sometimes be clawed back.) Each province and territory has its own list of assets that bankruptcy filers are allowed to delayed a unite on to. The exemptions can vary dramatically from one jurisdiction to the next. In some provinces, if you have any equity in your home, that must be included in the present asset pot to be divided among the creditors. But in Alberta, the first $40,000 in home equity is exempt. People are also ordinarily allowed to hang on to modest amounts of furniture, clothing, tools of the business, and even a car if there's not much equity in it (the car's value minus the amount owing on it). But if you're behind on you mortgage or car payments, secured creditors can still take sound steps to protect their positions despite any bankruptcy filing. You can also keep your pets. My friends will all skilled in that I've filed for bankruptcy. We've all seen those little ads in the "legal notices" section of the gift-wrapping that alert potential creditors to someone's bankruptcy. But that's for larger bankruptcies. If the assets are nominal, the creditors are notified by mail and there's generally no notice in the paper. And while bankruptcy filings are a purport of public record, who actually goes to the bother (registration required) and expense ($8) of searching? So unless you predict them, there's a good chance that friends, neighbours and work colleagues won't find out about your filing.

My confidence in rating will be ruined if I file for bankruptcy. Creditors sure don't like to see a bankruptcy minutes in someone's credit file. But if you're many months behind in paying your bills, collection agencies are business and you're not able to pay back anything close to what you owe, your credit rating will already be a disaster. For the record, in most provinces a bankruptcy signs remains on your credit report for six years after you're discharged (which can occur in as little as nine months after filing). Arranging a consumer tender (often thought of as a less drastic solution to bankruptcy) remains on the credit file for at least three years after it's been satisfied (which can itself take several years). Even entering into a indebted management plan through a credit counselling agency (where you will be paying back every cent owed) gets a jotting on a credit report. Bankruptcy erases all your debts. Definitely not true. Some debts cannot be discharged in a bankruptcy filing. They incorporate secured debts like mortgages or car loans, alimony, spousal and child forward obligations, court fines, claims arising from an assault, or student debts, unless you're been out of teaching for at least seven years (this can be reduced to five years in cases of hardship). It doesn't bring in anything to go bankrupt. You may think that you shouldn't have to pay to go bankrupt. But bankruptcy trustees don't work for relieved of. Usually, they get paid from the money that's freed up from the liquidation of the bankrupt's assets. Their fees be received b affect to about $1,500. You're also required to attend counselling sessions at an additional cost. In cases where the bankrupt has no assets to liquidate, the trustee will need his or her client to pay over time (as little as $200 a month). And until you are discharged, a portion of earnings above a constant level (what's called surplus income) must be turned over to the trustee for distribution to creditors. I'll never be qualified to get credit again if I file for bankruptcy. As mentioned earlier, a bankruptcy notation will fragments on a credit file for at least six years after the discharge. During that time, every creditor will be able to see the bankruptcy memorandum. After those six years have expired, there will be nothing on the file to show a bankruptcy. Even during that six-year period, people can take steps to rebuild their ascribe ratings. "You will be able to get a secured credit card and a car loan shortly after you are discharged," says Earl Sands, a Vancouver-based trustee in bankruptcy. "Provided you unite the income tests, a year after your discharge you should be able to qualify for most loans." Many lenders specialize in clients who've had a less-than-main credit history. Filing for bankruptcy will destroy my spouse's credit rating. A consumer bankruptcy filing is intimate to the individual filing it. As long as your spouse didn't guarantee or co-sign for your ascribe cards or loans, his or her credit rating will not be affected by your filing. Creditors cannot go after your spouse for debts that are in your name. The freak out side of this is that a bankruptcy filing only results in the filer having their debts discharged. The spouse's debts must still be paid. Filing for bankruptcy is no big sell. Make no mistake — bankruptcy is a last resort and even bankruptcy trustees confess that. During the nine- to 21-month-period it takes to complete a bankruptcy and have your debts discharged, you will have to transfer over total control of your finances to a bankruptcy trustee. You will have to surrender all your credit cards. You will have to article your household income and living expenses to the trustee every month and send along copies of your pay stubs. If you sponge more that $1,000, you must tell the creditor that you are an undischarged bankrupt. If you fail to do this, you can be fined and even jailed. You will also have to take two probity counselling sessions. Nothing impossible, to be sure. But bankruptcy is definitely not something to be trifled with.

In the end, if you're told that the first-rate solution to your financial woes is a bankruptcy filing, don't despair. Bankruptcy laws were set up to permit people in dire straits to wipe their slates clean and start untested.

Debt management expert Gail Vaz-Oxlade acknowledges that the decision to line for bankruptcy is not an easy one. "But if that's what it'll take to get you out of hell, then do it," she writes in her best-selling book, Obligation-Free Forever Alternatives to bankruptcy

Debt consolidation loan

Consolidation loans are Euphemistic pre-owned to pay off a variety of high interest rate consumer debts (like credit cards), resulting in a humiliate overall monthly payment. Available at banks, credit unions and pay for companies. Interest rates will be higher than regular bank loans but lower than credit funny man destined rates. Be sure to ask if there are fees and other charges. Consolidation loans can only include unsecured owing, so mortgages and car loans can't be included. Credit rating will not be hurt as long as regular payments are made and you don't go out and agony up a lot of new debt. People frequently use Home Equity Lines of Credit to pay off extreme-interest rate debt like credit cards since HELOC interest rates are much cut and repayment terms can be interest only.

Debt Management Plan (DMP)

Credit counselling agencies reach creditors and negotiate a DMP to fully repay your unsecured debts over a period of up to five years. You pass one monthly payment to the agency and it distributes payments to your creditors. They may be able to conclude lower interest rates going forward. Agencies cannot force all creditors to recognize a DMP. Unlike a bankruptcy, DMPs will not discharge your debts — you will usually be repaying your creditors in full, over conditions. But agencies can often negotiate a lower interest rate going forward. Once a DMP is in place, the creditors who allow to the plan will stop phoning you. Those who haven't agreed can continue to take action to accumulate. The presence of a DMP will be noted in the credit report. Credit counsellors charge fees to align a DMP. These depend on the debt load and the number of creditors. Fees are not regulated. Non-profit honesty counselling agencies that arrange DMPs are often funded by banks and credit be forthright companies.

Consumer proposal

A consumer proposal filing is done by a trustee in bankruptcy. The trustee makes an submit to the creditors to accept a portion of the amount of unsecured debt (i.e. excluding mortgages and car loans). Trustee submits a scheme to the creditors. If creditors who are owed a majority of the debt agree, the proposal will be binding on all unsecured creditors. Once the bid is accepted, all unsecured creditors are required to stop collection efforts. Proposals can last up to five years, but three-year plans are in the main more successful. Unlike a bankruptcy filing, your assets will not be liquidated but the presence of the proffer will be noted in the credit report. Fees are regulated by government.

If Occupy Baltimore leaves the square: 7 ways to rechannel that energy

Measure for the Occupiers to freshen and focus their protest, figure out what’s important aside from where they lay their heads at Stygian.

Whatever happens, by choice or force, it would be a shame for all that passion and energy go to waste. It’s been cooling to see something at the Inner Harbor besides whizzing traffic and plastic crab keychains. People happy to act audaciously to call attention to outrageous problems – crony capitalism, rogue economic institutions, raging unemployment – who’d a thunk it? In sleepy Baltimore!

Here’s our Ideas, What are Yours?

Anyway, here are some ideas from us, both micro and macro, some cerebral, some man, for how the Occupiers could put all their skills, passion, creativity and high dudgeon to use this winter, promising here in Baltimore.

We invite Occupy participants to share their thoughts and ask readers to offering suggestions as well. No doubt there are resources we haven’t considered so please, anyone, suggest them too.

1. Rebuild Something . Lakeland Uncomplicated School in south Baltimore, for example, had a bad thing happen recently: vandals torched their stage play structure. The slide, the climbing structures, were all melted and wrecked. Call the principal and proffer to help. The kids were devastated when this happened. If not this project, keep an eye open for others where a little goodwill and muscle are all that’s needed.

RESOURCE: Lakeland Basic School, principal Najib Jamal, 410-396-1406.

2. Monitor City Spending . Sit in on a Wednesday House of Estimates meeting (9 a.m., 2nd floor of City Hall), the setting where – Ka-Ching! – millions of public dollars are spent in the shrink of an eye. If nothing else it will startle city officials, since only a small cluster of bureaucrats and contractors typically show up, and the meetings are often concluded in under 10 minutes. To exceptionally make the trip worthwhile, though, bone up the night before on the BOE agendas, available online, where the agencies, vendors and expenditures are listed.

RESOURCES : Here’s the BOE website and skim The Brew been pushing political leaders lately to tackle this $2.8 billion quandary of dilapidated city public schools. They’ve had kids parading photos of cockroaches overflowing toilets down adjacent to City Hall, brought busloads of demonstrators from city churches to Ritzy Harbor East. Supporter them document the need in video, photographs and presentations.

RESOURCES: Transform Baltimore / Baltimore Upbringing Coalition (BEC), Baltimoreans United in Leadership Development (BUILD).

4. Shame a Slumlord. Do experimentation and identify the city’s worst slumlords and set up protests outside their homes, which are not promising to be in the city. Same goes for the lead paint violators, responsible for failing to keep residents of their rental units from old lead-based paint that flakes off and causes leader damage. Our own Housing Authority of Baltimore City, historically, was one of them. Their lead-painted overt housing units resulted over the years in poisoned residents now owed $12 million in judgments. But HABC has refused in court to pay what the residents’ lawyers say they are owed. Perhaps a visit from you is in order?

RESOURCES : Baltimore Slumlord Watch . There are links to Ceremonial of Maryland databases to help you search court cases, property records, the around to registry, etc.

5. Help City Youth Make Their own Career Paths – You over recall you’r

6. Get Serious about the BDC. The Baltimore Development Corp. is the quasi-public agency where the town sets its development priorities and the nexus where developer tax breaks (PILOTs, TIFs) and wirepulling meet. An offshoot of Occupy Baltimore, Another BDC is Possible, held a demonstration earlier this month in front of BDC offices. So what’s next? More is needed than a unborn chitchat with the BDC’s president.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

A fine idea. One place to start would be to spend some beforehand talking to developers who’ve worked with the BDC, rather than just making snarky remarks about “Paterakisville” a.k.a. Harbor East/Harbor Substance. Never met John Paterakis myself. Wouldn’t mind learning more about him. He seems to have built a pre-eminent bakery with a significant level of blue collar employment and has remained in the burgh while many businesses have left. IIRC, he never intended to get into the development business, but Mayor Schaefer asked him to come into possession of property in Harbor East to keep another developer from turning the site into a shopping mall. Would a mall have been preferable to what’s there now?

Another goal would be to ask “Another BDC is Possible” how they would develop the 25th Street Station. Where would their financing obtain from? Who will pay for the traffic studies, etc., their plan (once they develop one) would require? How will they attract “neighbourhood” retail able to pay the rents they would need to charge to pay off their loans, keep the property spill the beans and safe, and market the development? How long will we be stuck with an empty, lightly taxed lot while they get their succeed together? BTW, exactly which businesses on the Avenue are threatened by the 25th Street Station? (Don’t start in with the machinery stores again … I can show you many hardware stores thriving among the big boxes.)

C’mon, Cause-sters! If you aspire to more than just another lefty-talking-points organ, you have to talk to people you might differ with, and ask tough questions of erstwhile fellow travelers.

Ad hominem insults don’t undeniably move the conversation – let alone the work – forward. Most “occupiers” indeed do work, as in they have 9 to 5 jobs, families, and community obligations. Others are homeless veterans, out of drudgery college grads (including at least one from Harvard, and a PhD student from Johns Hopkins who has enough on her plate as it is), depressed collar joes, impassioned retirees, and generally concerned citizens. You don’t scarcity to sleep on the concrete to be an Occupier. Most never will. Nor should they if their families need them at home. 

The thing is  , this isn’t actually about the Occupy Movement. This is about everything that has been on the tips of our tongues for ages. The Occupy Movement is scarcely the vehicle, holding the door wide open and ensuring mass awareness for anything we conclude needs it. My hope is that you are sincere about the issues listed above being worth attention, and if so, I hope you take some sometimes out of your day to do something about it. It’s not just on the dirty hippies down at McKeldin, as you insinuate. It’s on all of us to dream a change. 

Yourself included.

The above is news about OWS–that is just one of the many responsible activities of OWS and its sister movements.  Please review up on what this movement is doing before you pontificate and denigrate.  The Occupy Movements across the homeland are made up of many marvelous activists.  The movement is not a socially detached, self patient movement.  My point is that even if it didn’t do all the things Fern has suggested–it is still an primary, important, ground breaking and seminal movement for our times.  Our times call for a prodigious, global civil disobedience to impress on business and political leaders that when the masses are restive they should take observe and not adhere to business as usual.  But OWS has never been just about sitting in or civil disobedience alone.  You’ve asked OB what it would do to begin the 25th street station.  You talk as though an alternative plan to the Paterakis no bid dispense is essential to vindicate OB.  To protest a corruption or to right a wrong a displacement does not have to spell out how it would best Paterakis with its own alternative plans for the property being bequeathed on him with confetti and candies.  The purpose is this: No money for the lead poisoned children but yes money for Paterakis’s projects.  And you weigh the protesters can only vindicate themselves by telling SRB, her minions and the BDC how they have a better plan to vie with Paterakis.  They don’t.  They are the 99%.  He is the 1% James Go in quest of.  And if he keeps having his way that percentage is not expected to change any time when all is said.  You say he employs a lot of blue collar workers and thus he is giving back to the city.  Of orbit he does James Hunt.  I am sure he has whole colonies of ants and artisan bees.  What’s your point?  He needs the ants and the bees to conduct on his ventures.  He is not employing them out of the sheer magnanimity of his being.  They keep his empire tournament, his contribution coffers filled, his corruptions mobile and his ambitions shiny.  If a man creates a few jobs then he has a straight off to sweetheart deals from his political servants?  Thank you for that wisdom.    Usha Nellore    

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Did you know the #1 reason for divorce is Money?

I had to walk away, because the car I owned for only 6 months was totaled when I made a left hand turn at a green arrow. the police officers took one look at my out of state plates, and said that I must have been going too slow, so the accident was my fault. If I was going too slow, shouldn't the approaching driver have been able to see me and stop? This is not the last time in my life I will wish I could afford a lawyer . . . Since I had an out of state license, and an instate residence, and Missouri and Indiana do not have linked BMV/DMV branches, we have never settled who I am supposed to pay, what I owe, or if I will ever be able to get a driver's license again. It will haunt me for years to come. The financially savvy out there will realize that, in fact, canceling my credit cards is where I made my first mistake. Canceling my cards was in effect, ruining my credit. As long as I kept using my cards, no matter how badly I handled the magic money, they would be there for me--like a co-dependent lover, holding back an alcoholic's hair while they puke. Canceling my cards was quitting--admitting defeat. Credit is made up of having loans OFFERED to you, and then making sure that the amount you take out is less than what is being offered in total. By quitting, I was announcing to the fiscal world that I was not good with money, I didn't anticipate getting better, and I would give up rather than fight for good credit. My then boyfriend (a man named Brian, like so many of them were), was having his own financial difficulties. His cell phone was being shut off, and he was worried about losing contact with the world. His mother was on his back about needing money, because she needed to make car repairs, or she would be even more dependent on him. I had been seeing Brian for just under a year, but his story touched my heart in a very personal way--I was very insecure about our relationship, and here he was desperate for something it seemed only I had, so I was sure to be able to buy his love on credit. (Hindsight makes me sad.) So inevitably, since this is the story of how I got here today, I gave him my credit card. And yes, worse, I uttered the words I have lived to regret: "I don't ever need to see this card again. Tell your Mom, as long as she makes the $15 minimum payment every month, I don't need to know how long it takes her to pay it back off." On November 11, 2003, Capital One says they received a letter saying I was deceased, and that I would no longer be paying off that bill. They noted the change in my living status, and alerted Equifax, and the other two leading credit reporting services, who kindly spread the word, so as not to have creditors calling and bothering my grieving beloveds. No one told me until 2005, when the apartment I was living in announced that rent would raise from $256 to $435, which I thought was horrible at the time. Oh, how I wish I had just accepted that and moved on . . . Instead, I tried to move, and discovered that no one would touch me with a ten foot pole. It was a woman at Cingular who told me that when she tried to report me to the FBI for identity fraud, she discovered I had already been reported twice that day, and she felt she should give me a friendly heads up. I fought and fought with Capital One to prove I am alive. It turns out to be much more difficult than it sounds. A letter got me 6 feet under, but a lawyer would have to bring me back--and I simply can't afford a lawyer's resurrection fees right now. So I did it by hand, and it took me a long time. I won't harp on this anymore, but it should be made clear--it's never going to go away. You get one credit report for your whole life--they simply add to the bottom. And Mine clearly says "Deceased" at some point. And then, it doesn't for some time. So any time a helpful, productive, over achieving clerk sees that someone accidentally unchecked the "Deceased" button on my credit report, they helpfully put it back in order, and the process starts again. Because of course, why would they notify me, if I was dead? The backlash of all that, is that once the word spread that I was alive, anyone who had stopped billing me because they thought I was untouchable now started tracking me, trying to find where I live, and sending me a bill for what I owed originally, plus years of late payments, and interest. Being Alive was mistake #3. I should have taken this opportunity to go live on the lam, under the radar, maybe join some sort of group that specializes in that sort of thing. I was dead, for all intents and purposes, and no one in banking likes to be told they are wrong. 2006 was the year I bought a car and started fighting to get my driver's license back. Sadly, I had not accomplished that when they pulled me over. So no with no license, I had no insurance, no insurance meant I couldn't register the car, no registration meant I had just left the old plates on the vehicle--any one of which is illegal, and they were totally justified in impounding my car, and throwing the book at me in court. In 2007, things were looking up. I had a real job, and had held it for more than a year--I even accepted the promotions, which were usually my signal to flee. I hate to be promoted at a job. It is a death sentence--it means that I really am going to do this job, indefinitely, comfortably accepting my paycheck every two weeks, and putting the hungry, cold, bus riding past behind me. This comfort zone always signaled the end for me: If I was happy here, I would not need to go back to school, get my degree or follow my calling. I could be happy enough right here, right? Wrong. I always quit when I realized there would be more money, more security and more potential for comfort in my future--but I still wouldn't go back to school. But in 2007, I was an Associate Project Manager, and my Boss was full of praise. I was living in an empty little apartment, with my little dog, and my little life, trying to fight off the scurvy that had set in in 2006 without the consultation of anymore doctors--doctors always meant more bills, and prescriptions, but never any sort of game plan. So I was fighting for my little life as best I could, and actually beginning to qualify for health insurance for the first time in 6 years. I could see a future that wasn't so bad. In September of 2007, a fire started underneath a bureau in my bedroom. I left the house at 7am, to get to work on time, and only my little dog was home. The fire started just after 4pm, and they called me at work to tell me it was out at 6pm. I was home by 6:30pm, but by then everything was black and charred. My little dog was coated in charcoal, and freaking out as you can imagine, but healthy and unharmed. But all of my possessions were ruined. All the art I had dabbled in over the years had finally gone up on my walls--and now up in smoke. My electronics looked fine to me--but the Fire Marshal warned me that I would have to cut the plugs off of them before I threw it all away--if one of these machines was put in another home, and the oily smoke had left residue inside, then the next fire would be my fault. So I hand wiped all of my books, took a lot of dirty laundry to the laundry mat, and slept on a couch for a few months while I figured things out. The Fire Marshal ruled out arson and electrical fire. The apartment complex said if it wasn't arson or electrical fire, than it had to be something I did, and after their insurance (not mine--I didn't have any) paid off, I would owe them just over $10,000. You wold think mistake number 4 was not getting renter's insurance. You may be right--but I will always think mistake number 4 was not getting a lawyer and a camera while the apartment was still dripping from the fire hoses. He began the process of selling his house, when I said I couldn't bear to be trapped in Geist--there are no buses there, and I don't have a license. I was already registered to finally FINALLY go back to school. That was the only financial hardship I can't regret. I have taken out more than $15,000 in school debt, and its worth every penny. I can't wait to geta job in my own field, and start paying it back. Totally worth it, no regrets. But I couldn't have him driving me back and forth from school all the time--it was too expensive, and it made me feel like a prisoner, not able to leave unless he could take me. I would say that trying to sell his house--even in such a nice part of town--was our first big mistake together, as a family. But, the wedding was in January of 2008, so moving in together wasn't a hard leap for us at all. Sadly, his three children all wanted a place to stay in our new apartment too, so we ended up in a beautiful 1800 sq ft apartment, with stained glass and original crown molding . . . for just under $1200 a month, which is ridiculous. And, of course, our second big mistake as a family. Maybe we should have rented a one bedroom apartment and put up sheet to separate our our corners. We might have been able to afford sheets. . . Instead, we had an apartment the size of a house with rooms for each of us. The very second his oldest son moved out and got his own apartment, we took in a renter. That renter took in a renter, and then that renter took in a renter, and now we can't even begin to afford the rent on this place without three renters at all times. Of course, anyone who has ever had to rent a room out of their home knows, no renter is ever permanent, unless you want them to move out, so we have unsuccessfully gone through eight renters in the last year and a half, each with more or less their own financial burden, or wasteland of unpreparedness when they leave us. Brian and I don't see eye-to-eye on his past financial mistakes, so I will biasedly list what I think his are, without going into his story in depth. His financial troubles are so mundane, it's not even a story. In America, you marry, have children, make home repairs, go bankrupt, and get foreclosed on. That's what happens today--that's who we are. When you marriage falls apart, you try to save it, and when you can't, you get divorced, and then you pay child support. He owes almost $4,000 in credit card debt, which they can't garnish from his wages, because his wages are already garnished as much as is legal. That did not stop the government, however, who says he owes back taxes, since the divorce and his ex-wife filed all the kids, so they went ahead and started keeping a few hundred out of every paycheck. Today, he wrote to tell me they had put a hold on his bank accounts, and anything we put in it automatically goes to Taxes. I can't have a bank account. I tried, but it triggered a law suit from Capital One, for just under $4,000 in late fees and interest on that $500 card from all those years ago, and I can't risk anyone else coming out of the woodwork to take money from me I don't have. When I get my student loan checks, I have made it priority one to pay off any nasty outstanding debt, and then pay off the rent for as far as we can see. In this case, we are moving out in May, to move to Bloomington. I will be graduating with my undergraduate in Sociology from IUPUI in May, and if I get accepted to IU, start my grad program in August. So the plan is to pay off rent through May, minus whatever it takes to file bankruptcy myself. I'm worried all the time that we aren't going to be able to pull ourselves one fire after another. I should believe--Brian does, with all his heart. He believes the Universe takes care of us. And when I look back at all the terrible, outlandish, bizarre things that have happened in the last decade, I can't help but think, well, yeah, so far, there is no reason I should be so well dressed, well fed, in a beautiful home, with a loving husband, and a pack of tiny dogs. The universe has stepped up over and over again to help me out of crazy binds. We don't have hobbies anymore. We don't eat out, or see movies, or even visit friends. Gas is too expensive to travel, and our clothes is going to last us a while longer. Our big expenses are rent--which will change in May, and Child Support--which will change in January. Then we have to cut back on debt, not spending I guess. But the only way to cut back on debt is to cut back on spending, so if we think we are bare bones now, it's going to look pretty lush and fertile compared to what we are going to get down to, if I have anything to say about it. In the past, things could get really dire. It was always so horrible, when I would realize I had exactly $20 short from rent, no groceries, and no bus pass. I have begged, bartered, mooched and pawned most of my friends to death by now, and I don't see most of them anymore. I gave up hobbies, outings, social exchanges, and home cooked food. But when it got bad, it was just that--bad. Just me, and then me and my little dog. No one else to suffer from my mistakes. That's why Finances are such a big part of divorce: being very poor doesn't end a marriage. But thinking things couldn't get any worse, and he spends even $1 on a lottery ticket can blow up to astronomical proportions. Secret credit cards, and hidden spending can drive a wedge so far between loved ones that no amount of apologizing can help. We can look past an affair. It was her, it was him, it as just this once, it was just sex, or true love, and those circumstances will never happen again. But being bad with money--can we really see that changing? Won't we be forced to live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of our lives, without hope of gaining security, if we always have to watch over each others checkbooks, and monitor one another like misbehaving children? I intend to get our finances back on track, because I don't mind being poor, but I want to stay that way or get better, not worse. I don't like feeling safe and happy one day, desperate and insecure the next. I intend to make sure that we never end up in this place again. Because I intend my marriage to last. I intend to stay married to this man as long as we are supposed to love one another, and not just as long as we can afford to live together. 1) Tomorrow is very last minute notice. So All of the people you were going to see tomorrow will be very disappointed you have to cancel on them to come and see us. Solution? Invite them. You'll get credit for entertaining them, and you won't have to feed them on your own dime. I don't imagine I will get four people to come on my own this way, so your friends will make the apartment look full and terrifying to our Piglet-like-B!-friend, and prove our love for him. 2) I will provide what I think of as snacks. However, B! has never come to my house and enjoyed any snacks I have brought. Solution: I will still provide snacks. Anyone who wants to eat before they get to my house is fine by me, and anyone who feels a need to stop at Wendy's or KFC (since they are just a few blocks from my house) ahead of time will not be shunned by the rest of us. 3) I have games. Not tons of them, and maybe not the one you have in mind. Solution? Bring games you like. Do not bring games you do not like, unless you are going to pretend they are a gift to me, in spite of the fact that you do not like it, and will never want to play with me. You never know what I might do with it--wear it to a costume party or decorate my inflatable Christmas tree with it--whatever. Parking Rules: Parking after some arbitrary dark hour gets people without tags towed away. The good news is, it's a Wednesday and the asshole who complains until the tow truck comes will probably get parking and not complain. The bad news is, if this is a great party and everyone has a good time, you will stay past whatever that time turns out to be anyway, and the tow truck man will come. So if you want to come, and like each other, you might opt to park on the street. If you are coming out of spite, or to cause a scene, or just to make an appearance, and then shun us, you can probably still park inside the gate no problem.

Job Hunt Recession ‘o9

Job Hunt Recession ‘o9

I was looking for a job in the Great Recession of ’09. Having no luck breaking into the education field, I decided to look for a restaurant job. Money was running out. Thanks to my man, I finally faced the numbers to see how much I owed on my student loans, and how much it would cost to pay back. In the nick of time, I stopped taking out loans. I post-poned taking thesis credit hours, and went on the job hunt at a pretty treacherous time. Jobs were out there, but there were much much more job seekers. At first, I applied to anything I could find I could do on Craigslist. I applied at offices, I applied at universities, I applied at cleaning companies, I applied at schools…

The first job I applied for was a new charter school. I waited around all summer for it, but it never got off the ground. That job would have been cool, a mentorship job at a school for kids that were not making it in the public schools, but oh well. Perhaps getting that first job like that would have made it too easy.

Then I found from an intern job at school for learning English. It was fun at first, but then it was disasterous due to a clash of energies with an office Queen. It only paid minimum wage, and I was overqualified. It was not a good fit for me. It became apparent that it would not serve in taking me closer to where I am going- to what I intend to do.

I came to the conclusion that for my resume, the best job I could get that was the best paying was restaurant work. Even though I had said that there was no restaurant on my horizon after Bang! whom I love and which has been the ultimate for me as far as a service career. After removing this restriction on restaurant work, I pursued the service industry again.

I started applying to anything that popped up on Craigslist. I applied at a newly opening pool hall in Northglenn. When I walked into the room the day they were seeing applicants, there was a huge line and there were maybe fifty people in the room. There was one lady interviewing a bartender applicant. Luckily, another lady surfaced and she called the girls applying for server/waitress positions in tow groups. There were six others in the room with me, and at the end of the group interview, two of ten went home. I was happy I had the job. I was happy that I had a job.

But when the pool hall actually opened, it was in actuality a cocktail job. I remembered that I really dislike cocktailing. This place was far away from home, it was slow with just opening, and they charged money for water. $1 for even just tap water. This rule, aimed at kids who hog up tables from drinking customers, was off-putting to customers, and to me. It was a drag, and so I quit. It was a good practice of saying “no, thank you” to a scenario.

At this point I went on a shamanic journey with Antonio. I was looking forward to laying down and putting my feet up, and even just dozing off. When I arrived I paid a visit to the Great Mother to do her services and ask her to release jobs for the community.

I just wanted a restaurant job where I could just be a dinner server. That is exactly what came about with the Indian restaurant. I had a friend there, but the other server was this Indian chick who was reasonably nice, but trained me harshly, expecting me to memorize every word she said, and then humiliated me if I needed to ask something she somehow expected me to know. Again, as with the office Queen, I tried to stay compassionate and take her meanness as an opportunity to practice not allowing myself to be thrust into hatred and antagonism.

I was so submissive, I needed this job, and I just took her abuse when she dished it out. I wore my blue velour pantsuit from K-mart that I just had to have. I needed some bling to go with it. I got out my gold chain my mom gave me with a south-western gold bear pendant that I hadn’t appreciated until now.

I dreamed about a circular room with six doors surrounding its parameter. Two warring mobsters came out of the doorways to stand-off with guns, but a great bear came out as well and put the men to shame with her ferocity.

There was a Bang! reunion when Christina and Shannon were in town with Jen, Josh, and Dani Gaines. I went into work in my black uniform with the golden bear swinging under my blouse as I tapped into this gold bear energy. It was perfect. Noone, not even the mean waitress could fuck with me. However, with the owner supposedly in a deep hole not paying some employees and the energy off, I knew I had to find something better. I found a dear friend there in a Nepali man with a beautiful wife that I wish the best for always. I had to leave before I told any more people how awful that unfortunate place was. Cockroaches (as have the other restaurants in the oldest part of downtown) and burst sewer line in the frigid arctic weather we had. About

Nina Lois is a graduate student at the University of Colorado at Denver obtaining a Master's Degree in Humanities. Her passions are broad when it comes to the human condition. She is deeply interested in philosophy, psychology, yoga, gardening, music, myth, story-telling and shamanism. She understands that the greatest enemy is the self, and the Self the greatest source of nurture.

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